Haven't blogged for almost a week. Last week was a disappointing and horrifying one for me. I screwed up two modules and I know I deserved what I got after what I've done. I accept my fate and I won't complain but seriously, the teacher was rude to even cut people off half-way, she took my confidence and stomped on it till I don't know where to put my face.

:( What a stupid, irritating and naggy old cow. Mooo....

Hmph. Anyway, it's over and now I gotta look forward instead of back...

I really want a dog(boston terriers to be exact)! Haha, and I want to play Left 4 Dead 2! Gah, D1 suggested either I save up for it or I wait for someone to give it to me during Christmas. Like real man, who will buy a 60 bucks PC game for me? My dad would definitely ask me to choose something more educational and useful rather than a game that just kills infected zombies. Lolol.

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My dad just got home drunk and I had to run up and down to look for him. He reminds me of my brother, he was drunk twice.. First time when I saw him in that state, I cried silently and the second time, I was pissed with him and I wanted to grab him by his collar and say to him,"I'm younger than you but I don't get so drunk like you, don't make us worry can?"

Now it's my dad's turn.. It's my first time, hopefully also the last time, seeing him like that.. I was pissed and now I'm tearing silently. Why do I cry when I see them like that? What were they so happy about till they must get so drunk? I got high before but not drunk, I knew it would be dangerous if I got drunk.. Sigh. I sound so evil and not understanding.

Whatever.

Tomorrow will be a better day. It definitely will be.

Great, my cold's not gone yet and I still gotta study for DesAtt ICA. Somebody save me! :'(

Now I wish I had a special someone who will comfort me and tell me everything will be just fine and then that someone would caress my forehead and lay a kiss on it.

I wish I had someone to tell me jokes to make me laugh till my sides hurt so badly that I have to stand up to prevent having cramps.

I wish I had someone to hold my bag for me when my shoulder injury starts to act up.

I wish I had someone to scold me when I don't do my homework and keep nagging till I finish my work.

I wish I had someone to study with and teach me what I don't know and unsure of.

I wish I had someone to go grocery shopping and then cook with me.

I wish I had someone that I could cook for/make bentos for.

I wish I had someone to dress up.

I wish I had someone who would call/text me in the morning and night so that when I wake up and before I sleep, the first and last thing/person I see/think would be him.

I wish I had someone to argue with about minor things like telly dramas and people we see on the street.

I wish I had someone to hug and cry in his arms when I am sad.

I wish I had someone to lean on when I'm dozing off in the train/on the bus or in the cinema.

I wish I had someone to play the piano for.

I wish I had someone's hand to hold onto when I'm walking amongst the crowd so that I know I'd be safe.

I wish I had someone whom I can be me when I'm with him.

I wish I had a someone to be proud of what he does and who he is.

I wish I had someone to miss.

I wish I had someone to love and hold onto dearly.

I wish. I wished. And now I don't. Hahaha. Loneliness is a scary thing, it creeps up on you unexpectedly and then hits you hard on the back of your head till you cry and wished that somebody was with you to go through everything with you.

I must be really stressed/tired/sick nowadays cause I've been having really crazy thoughts recently. Nothing that involves taking my own life and others'. :) D1 should know what I'm talking about, haha. But yeah, I'm sure I'll be fine soon.

Holidays are coming! Whoopeedoo! Hehe. Alright, I should transfer all these energy to my studies. Lol. I'm gonna go check on my dad now.. So Imma head off now.

Ciao.